ADHD: Parenting A Child With Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

“If you took all the things that were special about me, you could put them all together and call it attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). No better no worse, just different that’s me. I’m really not crazy, please try and see. Like a talented wizard in a world full of “Muggles”, it’s no wonder all you see is frustration and struggles.

As I daydream and drift, you think no one’s there, but nothing could be further from the truth, believe me, I swear. I see your impatience as my mind starts to wander but you don’t know the depth of the thoughts I ponder. For creative thinkers, get lost in deep thought, which leads to the illusion that they cannot be taught.

I know trying to reach me can give you blues, but I wish for just once, you could walk in my shoes. To see things through my eyes, you would be amazed, at the speed and sheer volume my thoughts seem to blaze.

I’m not lazy or stupid, if only you knew how truly difficult it is to limit myself and think like you do. But, I can see things that you’ll never see, it’s like second nature because I am me, with lightening fast reflexes, I can’t switch gears, to be firm and inflexible is the worst of my fears. I’m calm in a crisis and know just what to do, for I’m in a great company, Mozart, Edison, and Churchill to name just a few.”

~ “The wonderfulness of me, Robert Tudisco

ADHD is a common behavioral disorder that affects an estimated 8%-10% of school age children, with the three primary characteristics of ADHD – inattentive behavior, hyperactivity and impulsivity. Children with ADHD generally have deficits in executive function – the ability to think and plan ahead, organize, control impulses, follow through and complete tasks.

Although this condition usually begins in childhood, it can persist into adulthood causing difficulties at home, at school and at work if not recognized and treated. Usually it is diagnosed when a child shows some or all of the symptoms on a regular basis or for a period of more than 6 months.

Causes of ADHD:

ADHD is not caused by poor parenting. Heredity is the primary cause of ADHD. Besides genetics, other causes include neuro-developmental, functional and structural changes in brain.

ADHD Interventions & Treatment Options:

Raising kids with ADHD is a challenge but its important to remember they aren’t bad, acting out or being difficult on purpose. ADHD is best treated with a combination of medication and behavior therapy. Parental education is an important part in ADHD treatment. It is very important for the parents to be actively involved in their child’s treatment plan.

Children who can’t focus and control themselves may struggle in school, gets into frequent trouble and find it hard to get along with others or make friends. These frustrations can lead to low self-esteem as well as for the whole family. Treatment can make a dramatic difference in your child’s symptoms. With the help of a good psychiatrist and the right parental strategies, your child can get on track for success in all areas of life.

Dr Parmod, ADHD specialist, Silver Oaks Hospital, Mohali says, “ADHD can be disabling if not diagnosed and treated in time. The diagnosis is based on the history taken from child, his parents, grand parents(if living together) and teachers. It also depends on child’s school and clinician observation report. On occasion it gets over-diagnosed.”

“Parents must know that these days children are generally more active than previous generation due to many cues and activities, so they shall get the clarification from the psychiatrist only. Treatment revolve around counseling of child and parents,  setting small targets, following reward and punishment model, medication and regular follow up with psychiatrist.”

“If untreated most of them turn into bipolar disorder, drug abuse, antisocial personality disorder etc. He rarely can be an achiever like Michael Phelps (great swimmer). Seek help and prevent disability.’’

Children with ADHD need physical activity to expend their energy in a positive way

ADHD & Parenting:

Someone once said that parenting was the toughest job in the world. Not only can it be tough, parenting is also one of the most important roles in this world. It is a very joyful and wonderful experience but at times it gives us a lot of stress and can be very exhausting. Parenting a child with ADHD may just double these feelings.

Parenting an ADHD child often brings special challenges. Kids with ADHD may not respond well to typical parenting practices. Having ADHD can be as frustrating as dealing with someone who has it. This is the most important thing to keep in mind. ADHD child will never intentionally annoy or embarrass you.

Even he wants to sit quietly, be organized, wants to follow the instructions given to him by his parents, but he doesn’t know how to make those things happen. He is already struggling to fit in, have difficulty in keeping a good relation with his friends. So the first thing we need to do is just “let go” of our high expectations.

Kids are going to mess around, spill things and be disorganized. If our expectations are too high, the child will become frustrated and he will just give up. So we must encourage our child for small little things they do to help them gain confidence.

Quick Tips On Parenting A Child With ADHD:

1.    Maintain a positive attitude – To parent an ADHD child, you yourself need to be healthy. If you stay calm and positive, you are in a better position to handle your child. You can help your child to be calm and more focused.

2.    Follow a routine - Sticking to a particular routine is very important for your ADHD child. You must set a time and place for everything to help the child understand and meet expectations. Set up specific times for waking up, eating, playing, doing home work, watching television, etc.

3.    Set consistent rules – The rules set for the ADHD child should be very consistent so that the child can understand and follow them. The child should be explained properly what is expected out of him. When the child obeys the rules, he should be given positive reinforcement. A smile, positive comment or other rewards from you can improve your child’s attention, concentration and impulse control. Do your best to focus on giving positive praise for appropriate behavior and task completion, while giving as few negative responses as possible to inappropriate behavior.

4.    Build a positive relationship with your child - Positive relationship mean you accept your child unconditionally. But that doesn’t mean you accept your child’s behavior unconditionally. The child should know he is loved even when he is being told his behaviors are unacceptable and there are consequences to behaviors.

5.    Encourage movement in your child – It is very important for the ADHD child to burn his energy by involving himself in physical activities. Engage your child in some sports activity or dance classes, so that he expends his energy in healthy ways and focus his attention on specific movements and skills.

6.    Help your child in improving social skills – ADHD child often lack social skills. Many of the skills that make a person a good friend – such as being a good listener, sharing with others and waiting for your turn – are often some of the biggest challenges for a child with ADHD. Give your child opportunity to practice social skills and create an environment where they are more likely to succeed while interacting with peers. That will help them connect with others in a better way and will learn how to build rich and lasting friendships.

ADHD is a common condition. The diagnosis should be suspected in children in whom hyperactivity, impulsiveness and inattention are interfering with normal social functioning. The parents of ADHD children must foster good partnerships with everyone involved in your child’s treatment plan that includes teachers, doctor, therapists and other family members.

Take advantage of all the support and education available and you can help your child to be successful in all areas of his life. Trust your instincts. No one knows your child better than you.

© Namita Kandhola

Namita Kandhola, mother to a 5 year old daughter, hold a master’s degree in psychology and writes parenting articles for The Tribune. She was first inspired by Mona Prehar, a former head at Euro Kids, Jalandhar and now an educationist, who was instrumental in bringing her and her daughter closer to each other. Contact her at namitakandhola@yahoo.com

This article may be reprinted with a live link back to http://www.lovingyourchild.com.

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Additional resources:

• Recognizing and Treating ADHD – Are you worried or scared that your child has ADHD? Discover 12 proven methods to effectively manage the symptoms of ADHD naturally that bring true results. These methods really work for combating the impulsive behaviors & restlessness of someone with ADHD.
• Overcoming ADHD: A Guide for Parents – Discover how your child can end ADHD/ADD naturally, safely and without drugs. Learn how a child with ADHD got his life back from out of control to being happier and successful at school.
• Calm Kids ADD Program – Increase your child’s concentration, focus and attention span and calm him down in minutes. Eliminate hyperactivity, increase attention span, eradicate defiant behavior and finally end the ADD/ADHD nightmare with the only treatment that combines cutting edge audio technology, behavior modification and diet.

Photo credit Mattox

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