Q and A: Anxiety Of Overachieving, Perfectionist Child

Hi there,

Do you have any publications about anxiety of overachieving/perfectionist children?

My daughter, 9, 3rd grader, would wake up at 6, to re-do her homework, because she think she did it wrong. She is a gifted A student, naturally gifted athlete, and talented artist (plays the violin, and her art work was picked up among 3000 student). Yet, she still very hard on herself when she feels “tested” (it was triggered this year, before the FCAT).

I am looking for reading material for her and me.

Many thanks,
LMR

Is your overachieving child suffering from anxiety?

Hi,

Looks like you have a really responsible young person at home! Usually parents need to keep after their kids to do stuff.

But yes, responsibility can become burdensome when you set very high expectations of yourself. And this is probably causing your daughter to get anxious. Perhaps a little change of thinking would help her (For eg: recognizing it’s important to be effective more than efficient. Or to work smart rather than work hard).

Could I also suggest she take a little external help for the same? You could let your daughter visit with a counselor who could help her see herself more objectively and realistically. Also, the counselor could directly work with her anxiety by giving her a few relaxation exercises for performance enhancement.

All the best!

H’vovi Bhagwagar is a Clinical Psychologist, trained MBTI® Practitioner, and Behavior Consultant based in Mumbai, with a private practice where she sees clients at Andheri and Powai. Along with her private practice, she conducts training programs on life skills and writes for various publications.

Additional resources:

EFT Videos for Kids: I’M A GR8 Kid – How to have your kids be less frustrated, more focused, and improve their confidence and school performance — just by watching cartoons!
The Anxiety Free Child – Help for parents and children struggling with anxiety, fear, worry, or phobias.
Self Esteem For Children Today – Awaken self esteem to greater heights. Is today’s modern lifestyle destroying your child’s self-esteem? Discover how you can boost your child’s self-esteem with immediate results that will amaze you and your child.
Mini-Me Syndrome - Unlock the door to a life of limitless possibilities for your children! Teach them to realize their unique value, feel honored for who they are, maintain a positive mindset, have the confidence to reach for their dreams and achieve them.