Nature’s Parenting Wisdom: Child Rearing Lessons From Your Backyard

Nature is an unfailing source of inspiration, and being in touch with Mother Earth is a wonderful way for us to learn life’s lessons. A mother is very often likened to a gardener, because children require care and nurturing just as a garden does. If you’ve ever planted a seed and watched the flowers bloom, you know that it takes hard work to enjoy its beauty.

Over 36 years of marriage and raising two daughters, I have also tended many gardens. Watching the seasons come and go, both in life and in nature, I gained some valuable insights. This is what I have learned.

You get to choose how you spend each day

If you approach bringing up children with a cheerful “I can’t wait to go outside and smell the roses,” attitude instead of a woeful “I have to remove the weeds” attitude, your life as a mother will be a joy and not a chore. Remember this the next time your children feel like a burden.

In order to create something beautiful, you have to get your hands dirty

Whether it is flowers or your children, the best things in life come with their fair share of dirt. It’s only when you face all the highs and lows of the problems each child may have that you can create a beautiful human being.

Admire other people’s gardens, but don’t love yours any less

It’s fine to wonder what it might be like if you were the mother of an astronaut, or if you were Amitabh Bachan’s mother. Reality is never like fantasy! What you already have is special.

The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greenest where you water it the most

Comparing your child to your neighbors’ or the child who stands first in his class isn’t going to help your child achieve his potential. Instead, know his limitations and make what he already has better – and then watch him bloom.

A garden has plants that provide beauty as well as those that provide sustenance

It’s the same with children. Not everyone has it all or can to do it all. That includes you. A plant that grows best in the sun won’t thrive in the shade, no matter how much water or fertilizer you give it. Similarly, no two children are the same, and not all will become doctors and engineers. Focus on their true talents and don’t try to make them what they are not.

No single fertilizer works for all plants

It’s important to remember that we all get our nourishment in different ways. What helps one person grow and bloom may not help another. While one child may need to practice four hours every day to play a musical instrument, another may learn the same in one hour. While one may need extra classes to get through an exam, another may learn on his own.

A garden needs extra care in times of stress such as winter or drought

The same is true of children at various stages in their lives. When the world around them is full of difficulties and challenges, you must take care to be aware of what is bothering them and nurture your relationship with them by keeping the lines of communication open.

Weed or flower, it’s in the eyes of the beholder

In the eyes of a little girl, a dandelion is a ball of fluff, and clover is plucked for luck. As parents, we try to yank out what we think are undesirable traits just as we do weeds in a garden, forgetting the potential we might have overlooked. Many a time, it is their unusual traits that makes kids special.

In order to create something beautiful, you have to get your hands dirty

Gardening requires sharp tools – and a big heart

Your sharpest tool is your mind and its intelligence – but unless you use your heart in making decisions pertaining to your child, you’ll never be happy with these decisions.

Things in Nature can’t be forced

The same is true while raising children. If you plant a seed before the ground is ready, it will shrivel and die. In the same way, you can’t give your teen more responsibility than she can handle, or potty train your child before she’s ready.

Before you plant anything, prepare the soil. Make sure your children thrive by giving them what they need to grow – moral values, spiritual principles, a sense of wonder and the knowledge that you will always be there for them. They will definitely flourish.

A gardener should not constantly focus on what needs to be pruned, pulled out or straightened

Try instead to soak in the beauty of the garden as a whole, and to ignore its tiny imperfections. Instead of trying to mould your children into clones of each other, enjoy their uniqueness and feel the joy they can bring into your lives.

In a garden – as in life – things, never turn out quite as planned. The squirrels, birds and insects will surprise you each time by destroying flowers and fruits. So when your son, who you thought would become a doctor, turns instead into an actor, accept it as a beautiful surprise.

You have to prune away old growth to make way for the new

Often, we hold on to old ideas for so long that we stagnate. Let go of preconceived notions about your child’s future, or even about the way in which you should bring up your children. Change with the times.

Some plants are annuals and some perennials

So are children – for as they grow and move away, some pop into your life once in a while with a quick burst of color, making you laugh and smile. Others come back time and again for help. There’s room in your life for both.

The greatest part of tending a garden is that you learn that nothing in life is permanent… everything is here for a period of time. Nothing lasts forever, and your children don’t really belong to you.

They have come through you to be loved and nurtured and then be sent out into the world as well-rounded, balanced individuals. So enjoy them each day as if it were the your day with them.

Copyright © Susan Rao

Susan Rao is a freelance writer based in Hyderabad

This article may be reprinted as long as you provide proper credit to the author and link back to http://www.lovingyourchild.com

Photo credit ckgd2

Additional resources:

• Homeowner’s Guide To Landscaping – Guides you every step of the way, from creating a base plan to choosing plants and trees and landscaping for energy savings. Discover the joy and beauty of having a wonderfully landscaped yard. Organize and developing your yard for maximum use and pleasure, create a visual relationship between the house and the site and reduce landscape maintenance to a practical level.

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