Four Simple Steps To Move Your Child From Anger to Peace

When something causes you to feel angry, the last thing you are capable of feeling is a sense of gratitude. You spend your time focusing on what’s wrong, how it happened, why it happened, and how to fix it.

But being in a state of gratitude is one of the fastest ways to move from a place of fear, anger, or insecurity, to a place of acceptance and peace. Being in a state of gratitude is its own energy field, one that is a higher vibration than many of us live at on a daily basis.

By shifting into this calmer, higher vibrational state, we can more easily diminish stress, anger, and worry, and move to a place of acceptance and peace. And when we come from a peaceful place, solutions to our problems arrive much more easily than when we are upset or angry.

But how can we help our kids move into a state of gratitude when they are at the peak of their anger? And how do we avoid falling prey to their negative, angry energy in the process?

Here are four simple steps I have been using successfully with my son to shift him from his angry state to a state where he can more easily deal with problems and effortlessly identify solutions:

1.    Talk to your child about the problem.

Let him express it in his own words. It is important to let your child feel his feelings and not to suppress them. Let him feel his feelings fully. Ask him how he has chosen to feel about the situation.

This helps him to get in touch with his feelings. And by using the word “chosen” when speaking about his feelings, you teach him that regardless of what happens on the outside, he is responsible for choosing his own feelings.

2.    Acknowledge your child’s feelings.

Say something like, “I understand why you might choose to feel this way (again, using the word “choose”). Sometimes we choose to feel sad when things like this happen.” By acknowledging your child’s feelings, she feels understood, and this helps her to release the angry emotions.

3.    Once your child’s feelings are understood and heard, move your child from the negative to the positive.

Ask your child, “If you didn’t have this going on in your life right now, what are 3 things that make you really happy?”

When I follow this approach with my son, he initially takes some cajoling to think of the first happy thing. But by the time I have gotten three responses out of him, he is usually much calmer, and doesn’t seem as bothered by the initial issue.

You can help your child move from anger to gratitude

4.    Help your child determine a solution.

Once your child becomes calmer, ask her how she would like to handle the situation; what she thinks she should do. When I ask this question of my son when he is in a calmer, more receptive state, he almost always blows me away with an answer well beyond his years.

Most recently, my son was feeling sad because he felt like he was neglecting many of his toys and spending too much time with his video games. Once he calmed down, I asked him what he thought he should do about it. His response was “Have a screen-free week”!!

Now, if I had come up with that response, I doubt it would have been well received! But he was owning his feelings and deciding what he had to do to resolve them.

“Switching off” the negative energy by moving into the energy field of gratitude can clear our heads and help make any answer required by the situation come much more easily and from a state of acceptance and love rather than from frustration and fear.

The next time you or your child has a concern or problem, try to shift from focusing on what’s going wrong to remembering what’s going right by trying these four simple steps. Once you slip into the higher vibrational field of gratitude, the problem will lessen it’s grip on your child’s emotions, and the answer will come with more ease.

© 2008 – 2010 Jill Hope

Jill Hope is an international parenting coach, trainer, and founder of I Shine. I Shine offers programs that facilitate character-building, self-esteem, and inner development in children, as well as tools and teleseminars for parents that emphasize a conscious parenting approach to solving parenting problems.

I Shine’s programs focus on assisting parents and children to break through limiting beliefs and “think big”, so they can achieve their highest potential. Jill’s most popular program, “Child Self-Esteem ‘Bully-Proof’ Program” is gaining transformational results around the globe. The program teaches parents and kids how to tap into the power they already possess to take charge of their circumstances and lead empowered lives.

Jill’s e-zine, “Enlightened Parents, Empowered Kids”, has become the leading ezine on the internet for facilitating conscious parenting practices. For a complimentary subscription to Jill’s “Enlightened Parents, Empowered Kids” e-zine, and to download her free report “What Every Parent Should Know…About the 7 Mistakes Good Parents Make”, visit http://www.ishinekids.com

Additional resources:

• Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) for Kids

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