How To Encourage Your Teen To Build A Positive Social Circle
When I was a young girl growing up in Mexico, I often heard the phrase, “Dime con quien andas, y te digo quien eres.” Loosely translated, this meant, “Tell me who you hang out with, and I can tell you who you are.”
In so few words, this phrase perfectly captures the truth that no matter how self-aware we are, no matter how strong our willpower, the people with whom we associate undeniably influence us.
Although adults understand the importance of developing a supportive social network that includes friends who shape us in a positive manner, children aren’t quite as selective.
Of course, your kid’s friends aren’t really that much of an issue before they hit their teens, simply because you predominate a child’s social life, whereas tweens begin to develop a social existence that transcends the home once they enter middle school. And this is when friends become an important and influential part of your child’s life.
As a parent, your first instinct may be to carefully monitor and control who your teenagers hang out with after school. While this instinct is certainly understandable, be aware that you can only do so much to shape your child’s social life outside of the home.
You can however, take other measures to ensure that your teenagers develop a positive social network. For one, encourage your child to participate in after school activities like the debate team, a sport, the theater group, or any team endeavor that sparks your kid’s interest.
Children who engage in such activities meet other like-minded teenagers who are confident, active, and are too busy to spend time exploring more negative teen ventures like experimenting with drugs or alcohol.
Encourage your child to develop a positive and supportive friend circle
Another way you can make sure that your kid is hanging out with the right people is by openly communicating with your child about her friends. Encourage your kid to invite her friends over, and make your home a warm and inviting place so that friends will enjoy spending time in an environment in which you can observe their behaviors and interactions.
If you do not like a particular friend for small reasons like poor manners, hold in your desire to pass judgment. The more you discourage a teen from spending time with a particular friend, the more she will inevitably want to hang out with this friend.
If you must express your dislikes, do so respectfully. Tell your kid that you don’t particularly like a specific behavior that this friend exhibits, but that doesn’t mean that this friend is a bad person per se.
Although there is only so much you can do when it comes to coordinating your child’s social life, you can ensure a positive friend group by focusing on your child’s self-esteem and encouraging the development of healthy interests.
Teenagers who influence other children in a bad way often do so out of a low sense of self-worth. If your kid is confident and active, she’ll steer clear of negative friends without you having to do much about it.
Copyright © Alisa Gilbert
Alisa Gilbert writes about the topics of bachelors degrees. She welcomes your comments by email at alisagilbert599@gmail.com
This article may be reproduced with the complete author bio and a link back to http://www.lovingyourchild.com
Additional resources:
- Social Skills For Kids – What you need to know to help your child improve social skills and win friends for life. Learn the best way to empower your child in overcoming social challenges.
- Mini-Me Syndrome – Unlock the door to a life of limitless possibilities for your children! Teach them to realize their unique value, feel honored for who they are, maintain a positive mindset, have the confidence to reach for their dreams and achieve them. Your children will be able to live the life they were born to create without limiting beliefs interfering with what they truly want.
