Family Communication: Talking Through Your Family Problems

Telling someone you need to talk to them can result in a range of reactions on their behalf. They might fear that you are going to tell them something upsetting, but then again they might also be pleased to sit down for a chat.

Talking is something that many of us learn to do at a young age, but communicating is not as simple as that. For families, this lack of communication can prove even more difficult. If parents are not able to discuss issues in a forthcoming manner, parent support and advice can sometimes help to remove the barriers.

But for some people, even the encouragement for them to talk does not always prove effective. Some people choose to ignore problems, or simply walk away to avoid confrontation and reconciliation. Whilst we may all have some form of secret from our loved ones, communicating regularly can be effective at keeping major discrepancies at bay.

It can be as simple as having a casual family meeting once a week, or having a natter with your other half over the washing up in the evening. The washing up trick can be handy if you have your teenage children hanging around; they probably won’t want to do the cleaning and might stay out of the way!

Shared activities help keep the lines of communication open

If you want to get into the habit of regular communication with your family members, these may prove as handy hints and tips for your discussions:

• When someone else is speaking, try to be polite and listen quietly,
• Be interested in what other people are saying,
• Try to avoid making assumptions about what others are thinking,
• Avoid “grown-up” conservations around the children.

Lastly, it might be a good idea to try and consider the mood of your family before you start having a difficult conversation with them. Even if you are just talking to your partner, bad moods can often play a difficult part in reaching resolutions.

If the chat starts escalating into an argument, it might be more productive to take time to cool down, and pick up the conservation later with a composed head.

Copyright © Angela Lankenhurst

Angela Lankenhurst writes about home and family topics such as parenting and family issues. She spends her time working with children and families on a variety of projects in the community. To find out more about approaching your teens, please access the support library on the Relate for Parents website. Relate for Parents cover a number of family issues from marriage guidance to eating disorders.

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Additional resources:

• Free Parent Coaching Audio: Connected Parents, Connected Kids – This audio topic discusses the importance of parents staying connected, and finding ways to check in and figure out what is really important.
• Why Do They Act Like That – Proven strategies and techniques for communicating with your child. A guide for parents with teenagers with effective techniques by master practitioners of NLP from around the world.
• Parents in Love: 121 Dating Ideas – Save yourself and your family the cost of painful turmoil and difficult parenting plans! Give your children a secure, happy and loving home.

Photo credit tlst

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