Positive Parenting: The Victim Culture And How It Hurts Your Kids

Modern culture is very focused on being a victim. Perhaps it started with Hamlet – that ever-so-modern teen of Shakespearean fame. Perhaps the sulky, “poor-me” attitude started at the dawn of humanity. No matter when it started, modern culture has made being victim pervasive.

Everything in the modern world is about your right to free emotional expression – and about how important it is to express just how unjust the world is. This pervasive mentality is destroying your kids.

The fact of the matter is, the world is not a fair place, and life is not a fair game. Nobody owes your kids anything. In fact, it’s not even your job to pander to their every wish or make sure their every need is taken care of. The truth is you hurt your kids by taking care of everything for them.

People have been victimized in the past (and they continue to be victimized today) – but the truth is, if your child is growing up in a first world country they are most likely protected from true victimization. You do them more harm than good by pointing out any differences between them and other children.

Teach your that they can get what they want by working hard for it. Tell them that they can achieve anything they put their minds to – and tell them that if they’re determined nothing will be ale to stop them. Don’t mention limits to your kids.

Don’t let your children give in to victim mentality, either. Don’t let them whine or sulk because life is “so unfair.” The reality is that it is unfair, and if you let them go through their lives thinking that “It’s not fair!” they’re going to be sad, miserable people. They need to learn to deal with what life gives them. Every problem presents opportunity – it’s important to teach your children that.

Don't let your children give in to victim mentality

Teach your kids to work. That’s right. To work. Don’t do everything for them. Have your toddler help you push clothes into the dryer. Have your grade schooler do the dishes. Have your teen cook meals and help you clean the garage. Work is part of life and you need to let your children learn that.

Don’t do everything for them – if you do they’ll just pout when you ask them to do something. They’ll think “poor little me, I don’t want to work, my parents are supposed to do everything.” If you’re really unlucky they won’t just pout, they’ll become angry because you’re requiring them to do some work.

Being a victim really does harm your children. They learn that they’re limited, held back by their poor, pathetic state, and everybody else needs to help them. They need to wait on their parents, teachers, friends, or even the government to give them their “due” as a “poor victim.” That’s not the way life works. Don’t cripple your children by teaching them that.

© Kristen Burgess

Kristen has been writing articles for over 4 years. Her newest interest in increased productivity and efficiency in the home office. Come visit her latest site that discusses wonderful office helps like USB headset with microphone models and wireless microphone headset models.

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Additional resources:

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