Shopping With Kids: How To Have Fun Despite The Tantrums

By Smita Chatterjee

How does one shop effectively with one’s kids? Is there such a thing or are we fooling ourselves? It is an experience that carries its trademark manipulations and wheedling.

Of course, not all kids are so demanding – but don’t we all recall at least one embarrassing public spectacle where for the child the firmest of “NO” was read as “scream harder and I might give in”?

The trick would seem to lie in helping our children to identify and focus on what they really DO need – if anything. This calls for learning the very adult skill of mature prioritizing. Quite an exercise, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.

The easy alternative is to give in every time, thereby ‘spoiling’ our kids, or not go shopping with them at all. The not-so-easy option is to work through the experience and learn as we go along. The first is something many of us tend to do more often than we would care to admit. The second is not an option at all.

Shopping trips are inevitable if a child has outgrown clothes, footwear or has changed schools and needs new uniforms. Kids need stationery, craft items and various other school-going accessories.

Take Pre-Emptive Measures

Shopping can be fun with kids. Unfortunately, it can also mean tantrums, crying, whining and other embarrassing behavior. Most of us have discovered that we can prevent embarrassing moments during shopping by clearly outlining the purpose of the trip and the behavior we expect from accompanying kids.

This game-plan needs to be laid down with considerable parental authority – depending on the situation and previous experience. It is easier and far more effective to state the agenda clearly and concisely at the outset, rather than as last-minute damage control.

However, the shopping trip needs to have an element of fun, too, so ensure that your agenda includes some things that make the trip interesting for your kids. Include very clear parameters about the order in which the shopping will be done.

So, you can develop a list that either alternates shops of your interest with theirs, or one that keeps ‘their’ shops for last. The first option will appeal to every kid’s inbuilt sense of democracy – the second option gives him or her something to look forward to, and an incentive to remain cooperative.

Make The Situation Work For You

As parents, we tend to give in to bad behavior just to avoid a ‘scene’. However, we also need to know that by giving in, we are sending out wrong signals.

We do not need our kids to believe that embarrassing us is one way of getting what they want. Sometimes taking a tough stand is better for the child than giving in, because giving in can have negative effects.

Prevent embarrassing moments during shopping by planning the trip

Malls – those modern temples of impulse buying – are notorious for the problems they can create. The attractions and distractions are myriad, and even the best-laid schedule can go for a toss.

Mall shopping may well be a time for delegation. So, if you have an older and more responsible child, your spouse or another adult along, send them to engage the kids in an activity of their choice while you attend to the real shopping.

Another approach (though this does not always work) is sit a ‘tantrumming’ child down and talk to him in a firm and collected tone. This ‘technique’ depends entirely on the parent’s ability to remain cool and unruffled by the kid’s demanding outburst.

Logic Is Age-Relative

A four year old will not understand the concept of a budget. What seems easy to understand to you, may sound like simple meanness to your kid. Many of us have found that explaining in easy words why we need to budget is helpful.

To further illustrate the concept, you can give your child some pocket money to buy something of his choice. Being faced with a million temptations to address within a limited budget can drive the point home very effectively. You may even consider giving your kid this money before the shopping trip.

All of us have to accept the fact that children, depending on their age, do not know the difference between a ‘want’ and a ‘need’. That does not make them dumb or slow on the uptake though – it simply makes them children!

Nevertheless, the upshot is that shopping with very young to pre-teen kids can be quite challenging. However, would you want to miss out on the fun it can be, too? No way! So face the challenge as you would any other – do the footwork in advance and walk in prepared.

This article may be reproduced with the complete author bio and a live link back to http://www.lovingyourchild.com

Additional resources:

Talking to Toddlers: Dealing with the Terrible Twos and Beyond – High quality audio course for stressed-out parents of children aged 2 and above. Created by an expert in NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis.
Ruling The Roost: Toddler Discipline Guide – Establishing a sound routine is essential for creating a positive and nurturing environment for your infant and toddler to grow and develop. An easy to understand guide that helps any level of parent create a sound and nurturing discipline routine starting as early as 6 months!
Growing Up Children – How to get 5 to 12 year olds to behave and do as they’re told. A practical down-to-earth strategy to get your children to do what you want, and love you for doing it.