Overscheduled Children: Will Your Kids Snap Under The Stress?

By Sia Mitra

They say that TV is a reflection of contemporary social mores. This is quite a terrifying notion, especially going by the various advertisements of energy-boosting drinks for kids.

One shows a mother at her wits’ end as she sees the kids next door excelling effortlessly at academics as well as athletics. Another shows the harried mother waking up the kid at 4.00 a.m., stating, “kyonki competition ka zamana hai.”

Hamid actually wakes up at 4.00 a.m., goes for a jog and workout, gets ready and leaves for school at 6.45 a.m. In the evening, he has to fit in tennis lessons and chess coaching. Weekends are ‘utilized’ for art classes and Mental Maths coaching.

His mother (a teacher in a reputed school) says, “It’s better than playing around with other kids – they just fight and do nothing.” As a result, Hamid is never seen playing with the other kids in his locality.

What is the message here? Is it that the kids better buckle up to compete and excel in not just studies but athletics and other extra curricular activities, too?

As the pressure to excel mounts, today’s children are beginning to feel the brunt. Agreed, striving is essential to keep up with the rest in this rapidly moving world – and parents need to introduce and facilitate new avenues to broaden their child’s horizon. But how much is too much?

For kids who are seriously overburdened by various activities, here are a few symptoms they might typically display:

Listlessness

The activity that she was enthusiastic about earlier do not excite her anymore – your child starts feeling listless about fun projects she used to enjoy. New activities and achievements fail to enthrall her, too.

Physical Symptoms

Are bouts of lethargy becoming more frequent? The child may complain of lack of energy too often; there may also be frequent headaches and stomach aches due to missed meals and strain.

Incomplete Work

More-than-usual complaints from school authorities are a sure warning sign that a child has bitten more than he or she can chew. Studies suffer, and grades show a discernible decline.

If extra-curricular activity instructors also report a downslide in interest and performance, your antennae should go up. Unable to cope with the pressure, children sometimes feel that their parents will ease up on them if they under-perform.

Lack Of Free Time

Often, a child’s whole day is scheduled into watertight compartments, with something or the other fixed for him of her to do at all times. Are there daily hours in which your child is free to do what she likes?

Is there time for him to loll about leisurely with friends on weekends? A child who hardly ever gets time to spend with peers – or to just do nothing – is certainly overburdened.

Mood Swings

All kids have a limited capacity for stress and a need for downtime. If pushed too far to take up more than is manageable, a child gets emotionally affected. Perennial worry about attending this and finishing that may render a hitherto sunny child cranky and irritable.

S/he may show restlessness and aggressive as a response to the straight-jacketing. In fact, there may be a frequent displays of uncharacteristic anger.

Obviously, all parents want the best for their children. However, such noble intentions often translate into over-scheduled – and therefore over-burdened – children. What results is often a burned-out child who is finally no good at anything.

Frequent displays of anger may be a symptom of burnout in kids

How Parents Can Loosen Up

Organized activities help a lot – they improve social skills, teach sportsmanship and discipline. However, parents should ensure that they remain fun activities that the child undertakes in free time. They should not overwhelm the child.

Find out a couple of areas that the child is particularly interested in. It is important that she does what interests her – not just something to please her parents. Summer camps, for instance, are good opportunities to discover a child’s areas of interest.

School teachers can also help, since they observe children more keenly. Establish a tolerable schedule that is easy for your child to manage. Provide a couple of days in a week for your child to attend organized activities (while making it clear that studies come first and are not to be neglected).

It would be easier if the venues are closer to home, to help you save on commuting time. Above all, do not make attending these sessions mandatory for your child. If s/he wants to go to play with friends once in a while, allow the missing of a session.

Sometimes it is more important to just hang out than to attend a class, even if it has been paid for. Each child is unique. Some are born organizers and can manage a plethora of activities with élan; others are more laid-back, preferring to take things at a leisurely pace.

In other words, don’t schedule your child based on what others are doing – and remember that children are diamonds in the rough. Carved delicately, they turn into wondrous things of beauty. Hit them too hard and they may disintegrate into empty shards.

© Sia Mitra

This article may be reprinted with the complete author bio and a live link back to http://www.lovingyourchild.com

Additional resources:

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