Single Parenting: 4 Tips For Single Moms To Raise Happy Kids

By Kim Patrick

If I could give advice to single mums regarding raising their kids I would say this:

Give your kids good boundaries.

Let your kids know exactly what you expect of them. Sit down and talk to them about these boundaries. Help the kids understand that the household rules are for their benefit.

When kids understand the reason behind rules they are much more likely to abide by them. With my kids I write down consequences and they are stuck up in the kitchen in a prominent place.

The kids and I have talked about certain consequences such as withdrawal of privileges like play station and desserts for three days if they are caught using bad language. This really helps kids.

The idea here is that if the kids choose to do something such as using bad language, they automatically know that they have chosen that consequence to go with it because they come hand in hand. And because we have discussed and agreed upon all consequences the kids are less likely to argue about it.

Don’t change the household rules without first notifying the kids.

Remember, you are not trying to trick your kids but help them to do the right thing. Family meetings are a great way to communicate. You can sit around the table on a certain night each week and discuss how you think the household rules are working and take suggestions from everyone.

Kids will feel valued as you are listening to their opinion, even if you don’t agree with them. If you listen to them they will feel loved and appreciated.

Let your kids know exactly what you expect of them

Make sure you look after yourself.

I know this is a hard one – I am single mum to four children. But I have learned over the years that it doesn’t pay to neglect yourself. I have figured out that if I am happy the kids end up benefiting also.

At least once a month I make sure that I go on an outing with one or more friends, so that I get that social interaction. Yes, it is often hard for me to organize a getaway. But I recognize the importance of doing this simple thing so I do it religiously.

All I do is go out dancing with some friends. It doesn’t cost me much money but it is something I love to do for recreation. And I do feel more relaxed when I have been out and ready to tackle my parenting head on again afterward.

Lastly, stick to your limits.

Don’t give in. Children love to push your limits but they also want to know that you won’t waver. They actually feel more secure when they know that there are limits.

Don’t expect your child to always like you when you are enforcing the boundaries but in the long term you can rest assured they will always thank you for it.

© Kim Patrick is a Parenting Mentor and Coach, seminar speaker, and author of “Get Your Child To Behave IN 30 Days Or Less”. She is also creator of the famous “Sleeping Angels” series for children. These special CDs are designed to speak positive messages to your children while they are in bed asleep.

Kim lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia, with her four children. She has a Certificate 3 in Education Support, Diploma in Christian Ministry and is currently working towards a Bachelor of Learning Management through the Central Queensland University.

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Additional resources:

• The Single Moms Survival Guide – Bethanny Davis draws on her own experience as a single mom to share helpful advice about who to ask for help and what to ask for, dating, ways to save money, finding childcare, visitation, dealing with loneliness and much more.
• Free Teleseminar: 5 Simple Steps for Over-Worked, Over-Stressed Moms to Instantly Lighten your Load – It’s not what we do for our families, but how we live our lives that impacts them the most. Do you have the courage to heal your life so that your family can be truly loving and whole? Get laser focused on what you DO want and tame the monsters called “worry” and “guilt”.
• Moms: Healing Ourselves, Healing Our World – Find the Way to more peace, harmony and LOVE in the world and right at home. Discover how to access your unlimited inner power, expand your capacity for joy-full living and BE the change you want to see in the world.

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