By Rachael Mah
You need to be on the same wavelength and your children need to feel as though you can relate to them and they can relate to you.
Developing rapport with a person of any age is important when it comes to relaying information and when it comes to creating a sense of trust with that person. It is easy as parents to forget to honor our children enough or to take the time required to move into the child’s world and meet them there.
Life is hectic at the best of times and slowing down to develop rapport with our children often does not factor into the equation. However, taking the time to do this makes a great deal of difference in your relationship.
In NLP there is a highly effective way to develop rapport with someone, whether that person is a child or an adult. This is called pacing. Pacing is a subtle, yet powerful form of mimicry that is not obvious to the person with whom you are establishing rapport.
That is to say that it is not obvious on a conscious level. However, pacing reaches the subconscious, a part of the mind that feels flattered by the attention it is receiving.
You see, making a connection with a child does not mean merely showing an interest in that in which the child is interested. Trying to buddy up to the child will not bring about the rapport you wish to build.
No, you need to move completely onto their plain, become part of your child’s world. You have to go to your child, whether your child is a toddler or a teen.
Establishing rapport with a child with pacing is really very easy. You need to do two simple things that tell them that you are working with them, on their level. These things are:
1. Physically get down on the same level as your child (if they are smaller than you). If the child is older and bigger, sitting down at the table together might work best. This will bring you eye-to-eye with your child.
2. When you speak to your child, match their tone, facial expression, movements, and the rate of their speech.
Just doing these two simple things will allow you to establish rapport with your child very quickly. You and the child will connect immediately and then with the rapport in place, you can then work on whatever issue is facing your child.
Rachael is a very experienced international corporate professional and is also a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner. She wants to share her skills and experience with people who want to learn and apply strategies that will bring out the best in their children at home, at school and their future lives.
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- Speak Teenager – Win back your son or daughter. I wrote this book from a father’s point of view and not from a psychology point of view. My book is straight and to the point in an easy to understand language. This ebook contains everything you need to know in order to make amends with your son or daughter and become their best friend.
4 Levels of Rapport
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