Child Anger: Why The Arizona Tragedy Is A Wake Up Call

By Stephanie L. Mann

Twenty-two year old Jared Loughner killed six and wounded 14 innocent people in Tucson. The public reaction; a “deranged monster.” Others blame angry political speeches. Loughner’s friends called him a “social outcast.”

This tragic event is a wake up call. We need to identify root causes and examine solutions for violent behavior. Human beings have the power to make choices for good or evil regardless of what has happened in the past.

Violent people were often victims. They never learned how to look within to find their own identity and felt victimized and powerless. Lacking self-awareness, they can spiral out of control by dwelling on past traumas or injustices. Anger, if left unresolved, grows into rage and confused thinking. They blame others and may seek a cause to feel powerful.

Their ego says, “I am right and others are wrong” as they shut down their conscience and play god. If no one intervenes, they look for a victim to relieve their pain and feel in control. I.e. a rapist attacks a vulnerable woman, a predator attacks a child, and an angry husband abuses and isolates his wife. This is spiritual ignorance at its worst.

Loughner was not born “deranged” but anger made him think and act in self-destructive ways. He became an outcast and felt justified in hurting others. Mass murderers are often “loner” with “no remorse.”

Children growing in abusive homes learn that the biggest bully wins

How can we prevent children from becoming a social outcast?

Consider these ideas:

1. Spiritual ignorance - Children growing up with mental, physical or sexual abuse at home learn, the biggest bully wins. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce that message.

Without spiritual understanding of self, young people do not learn healthy life skills to help them handle feelings of love or hate. A spiritually off-centered child can become a bully or the victim of a bully. If human (spiritual) beings dwell on anger, why become self-destructive or may turn their anger on the community.

What you can do… Look within your family, set boundaries, listen, demonstrate respect for each other and speak without anger. Do not tolerate bully behavior at home or in your neighborhood. Children need strong, caring families to learn self-awareness and self-discipline.

2. Social alienation fuels violence -When young people feel isolated and lack a network of support from family, friends, neighbors or a religious family, they may struggle to develop self-confidence and courage.

What you can do…Successful parents create a network of support around children and seek wisdom from family, friends, teachers and neighbors. A network of support builds trust. Encouraged your network to correct unacceptable behavior.

Children will develop respect for others and their property. A caring network offers encouragement, mentors and role models. Involved citizens demonstrate how to become contributing members of the community.

We can make our homes and neighborhoods safe places to live and help young people from “falling through the cracks” or becoming “social outcasts.” United, we have the power to create more peaceful communities.

© Stephanie L. Mann, Safety, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant

Safe Kids Now! http://www.safekidsnow.com Mann is a Safety, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant – Neighborhood Watch Pioneer & Author of 4 national crime prevention books. She focuses on strengthening families and community TEAMWORK. Her latest book is a 10-Step Guide, “The Adopt-A-Block Guidebook.” You can contact her at: safeneighborhoods@gmail.com

Resources For Emotional Health:

Turnaround: Cure Your Child’s Anxiety – A professionally developed audio treatment program that teaches your child how to stop anxious thoughts, calm uncomfortable feelings, and use proven strategies to overcome anxiety. Based on the most effective treatment for child anxiety (CBT), Turnaround uses a story to invite your child to join six other anxious children on an imaginary 10-day camping adventure that teaches them how to break free from their fears. It is professional AND very child friendly.
The Kids Manual to Overcome Bullying and Gain Self Confidence – This e-book will allow your child to handle any bullying situation with confidence and get results with the best and easily applicable strategies. Not only is it written for children, in their unique language, you as the parent can learn along with them and guide them with the techniques to conquer bullies.
Children Bedtime Stories With Music Therapy – Imprint positive thoughts on your child and a deep sense of inner peace. These Bedtime stories with music therapy are designed to relieve anxiety, stress and insomnia in children, gently leading them to a magical world where only love and happiness surround him, in a deep and relaxing sleep.

Inside Jared Lee Loughner’s Mind