Help Your Kids Overcome Fears And Break Out Of Their Comfort Zone

By Shaya Kass, PhD

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” ~Abraham Maslow

As Dr Maslow tells us in today’s quote, we are either moving forward or moving backward. And moving forward means overcoming the fear to grow out of our comfort zone.

Of course, we all want our kids to grow and to do that we have to help them a little bit. Sometimes we help them by holding their hand and sometimes we help them by “pushing them out of the nest” and watching them grow wings on the way down.

So what should we do to help our kids grow out of their comfort zone? Three of the many things is to help them to realize that it won’t kill them, to help them to take small steps and to help them keep their eye on the goal.

As Maslow told us, fear has to be overcome every single time we are trying to grow. Our kids may not realize this. They may even become so used to the chemicals in their body that are created when they feel fear, that fear feels normal and confidence feels abnormal. They simply have to overcome the fear.

You can help them with this by, first of all, naming the fear. They may not even know what they are afraid of, just a general feeling of fear. Once you ask them to name it and they talk about it, they may realize that there is nothing to fear in the first place.

Once they leave the grip of fear, we can help them with small steps toward reaching their goal. You most probably remember when your kids were little and you wanted them to stay in a playgroup or daycare alone, you began by playing with them on the floor.

Then you may have said something like, “My legs are hurting, I am going to sit on the chair at the end of the room and you stay here and play.” Then you said, “I have to go to the bathroom, I will be back in one minute.” And this way you “eased” yourself out of the room and it was not too traumatic for them (or for you.) You gave them little steps to independence.

Help your child face their fears

Similarly, with anything that they are fearing, give them little steps to the big goal.

And finally, we have to help them to keep their eyes on the goal. They have to be reminded why they are going through the discomfort. That will help them to get through it and to achieve their goals.

This, of course, is an important life lesson. How many people do you know who are paralyzed by fear from doing something that is important to them. Whether it be speaking to a potential mate to starting their own business.

These simple steps will set your child on a lifelong path of doing what it takes to grow and flourish.

Shaya Kass, PhD is a parenting coach.

I help parents create relationships with their kids that give a lifetime of smiles. Sincere, deep, loving relationships. Having a parent coach can help you create one of these fabulous relationships. I offer tips and techniques for growing happy, inspired kids and parents at www.PositiveParentPlus.com. Visit now for a free report on The 7 Key Steps to Being A Positive Parent. Shaya can be reached at DrShaya@PositiveParentPlus.com

Parenting Resources:

Super Skills 4 Kids – A home study course designed to help kids set goals, envision the future they want, and achieve anything! Teaches you as the parent or teacher, to work with the child to breakdown their problem or goal into pieces they can work on – no matter how big the dream, or overwhelming the problem – therefore you are giving children skills for life.
Nurturing the Winner & Genius in Your Child – With the right approach and communication strategies, you will be amazed to find that any underperforming, unmotivated child can unleash his full potential and transform into a top achiever instantly. Written by Adam Khoo, a best seller author and peak performance trainer, and co author Gray Lee, a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ (NLP) trainer and an MBTITM accredited facilitator this book will help you understand why children behave the way they do and transform the way you communicate with your children.
Turnaround: Cure Your Child’s Anxiety – Based on the most effective treatment for child anxiety (CBT), Turnaround uses a story to invite your child to join six other anxious children on an imaginary 10-day camping adventure that teaches them how to break free from their fears.

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