How Setting Limits For Children Negates The Need For Discipline
Children love having boundaries or limits, although they would never admit it to an adult. Setting limits and outlining boundaries actually helps kids feel more secure.
This means they don’t have to be guessing about how their parents will react to something because they always know in advance. You see the rules are clearly defined.
These children display self control more readily and will happily take responsibility because they understand the reasons behind what parents do.
The end result of having good boundaries is that the child reaches a certain level of freedom through this responsibility. The parent will bestow more freedom on the child knowing that they will be able to handle it wisely.
And as a child is given more freedom they begin to take on even more responsibility. Then, when they prove to be trustworthy they achieve even more freedom within limits. And this is the key. Once a child realises this, they can move forward at whatever pace they want in life.
Every child moves at a different rate and some kids do find it difficult to handle freedom and responsibility. That is why you need to deal with each child on their own merits.
My eldest two boys are 16 months apart but my younger one is more responsible than his older brother. So I am obliged to extend more freedom to him because he has earned it.
Think about what happens when a person enters into the work force. It is not the oldest person who gets the promotion but the best qualified person for the job.
Now I never make a big deal of things to my kids, but I will entrust them with the level of responsibility that has been earned by them through their faithfulness or lack thereof.
Even if it was my 10 year old being the most faithful, she would be given the most freedom, providing she didn’t abuse the privilege.
The bottom line is that when we have good boundaries for our kids this helps negate the need for child discipline and makes life easier for both ourselves and our children.
Copyright © Kim Patrick
Kim Patrick is a Parenting Mentor and Coach, seminar speaker, and author of “Get Your Child To Behave IN 30 Days Or Less”. She is also creator of the famous “Sleeping Angels” series for children. The Sleeping Angels Downloadable CDs are special CDs aimed at speaking positive messages to your children while they are in bed asleep. See how you can improve your child’s behavior with these astounding messages.
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